7 Ways To Stop A Fight In Its Tracks
Have you ever been in a fight with your woman so intense that you just wanted to leave? It seemed like you were being crucified for no good reason only because of her insecurities. It
Have you ever been in a fight with your woman so intense that you just wanted to leave? It seemed like you were being crucified for no good reason only because of her insecurities. It started off with something minor only to escalate into this huge thrown out battle. I mean she’s reminding you of every wrong you did from the beginning. How do you combat that in the heat of the moment? It takes discipline and self-control. Here are seven ways you can stop those fights in their tracks and defuse the situation. And in some cases avoid these heated battles in the future altogether.
Click here to find out more:
- Do something different. This is a great time to exercise discipline and self-control. When you’re in a heated emotional battle with her, pause and take back your emotions by doing something different. Take control of the conversation by not feeding it anymore and once she’s finished venting grab her hands and sit her down for 5 minutes to gather herself. Then try a different approach to the situation. Get to the undercurrent of the situation and once you do that you’ll realize it wasn’t worth the time and energy you just gave it. At that point discuss how you both could have approach the situation differently and commit to doing that the next a situation arises.
- Never compare her to another woman. Women do not want to hear about how you and your ex never discussed or fought over a situation you both may be confronted with. That’s the last thing she wants to her. Unless you plan on staying in the dog house you need to find another reference point. Use common sense. How would you feel if she compared you to her ex by referencing him every time a situation occurred between you two? I guarantee you that if she did that you would really explode.
- Show affection. When she is yelling, screaming and kicking up a fuss, walk over to her and give her a genuine warm embrace. Then look her in the eyes and tell her how silly the fight is and it’s not worth the time and energy that you both are giving it. She wants you to embrace her and tell her everything is going to be alright. You are her rock and her covering and she wants to feel safe and secure with you. So be that person for her when problems arise, and a hug or an embrace will defuse the situation immediately by showing her that you’re with her and not against her.
- Put on oven mitts. This is a trick recommended by Dr. O’Hanlon, a marriage therapist that advises Oprah Winfrey on a regular basis in her relationship advice work. Dr. O’Hanlon claims that you can defuse a fight instantly when you both put on oven mitts. This symbolizes boxing mitts, but it puts some levity on the situation that neither one of you will be expecting mid-fight.
Follow this link…
According to Dr. O’Hanlon, this break in pattern from your usual fighting routine sends the message to your brain the significance or insignificance for that matter of what you are fighting about. Does it seem silly now? Then it probably is, and the fight can be thwarted in its tracks.
- Don’t go to bed angry. This is Biblical. In the Bible the Apostle Paul talk’s about being angry and not committing sin in the midst of your anger. Ephesians 4:26 “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath”. This is an excellent way to stop a fight in its track and avoid any future occurrences. When you are upset, settle it immediately. If you cannot settle it right away. Give it a little time until you both can gather your composer. When you are upset and you do not confront and resolve your issue your anger will take root in your mind. And you know whatever takes root will grow and produce fruit of like kind. Before you know it that minor issue has escalated into something major that could have been avoided if confronted and resolved in a timely manner.
- Show concern for her feelings. When she’s upset let her vent by listening attentively to what she’s saying. Well, at least give the appearance that you’re listening to her. She may have had a long day. The kids may be getting on her nerves, or you probably forgot to put the toilet seat back down after use. Whatever the situation, you have to give a caring ear to what she’s saying. She loves and respects you, and she considers you as her friend. If you show that you don’t care about her feelings and ignore what she has to say, you’re fueling her anger. Her wrath will then be directed towards you, and you don’t want that especially if you can avoid it. If she’s happy, you’ll be happy.
Find out how to diffuse the situation with conversation chemistry…
- Apologize (Be sincere in your apology). Sometimes all she wants is for you to say, I’m sorry. These two simple words could have defused many long drawn out fights between couples. Once she calms down approach her, look her in the eyes, speak clearly and slowly from the inner recesses of your heart and tell her how sorry you are. I know you’re probably saying I didn’t do anything this time that warrants an apology. Take my advice; apologize anyway for the times you didn’t apologize that did warrant an apology.
Melody Brooke, licensed relationship therapist and author of The Blame Game, says that this is the hardest part of any fight, but the quickest way to nip it in the bud. It’s all she wants to hear is an apology. If that’s the quickest way to end it, what are you waiting for? Be the bigger person by taking the first step and apologize. I guarantee you that if an apology is warranted from her she will be more inclined to apologize once you do.
When it comes to fighting with the woman you love your best defense in defusing the situation is removing your emotions from the equation and seeing it from her point of view. Try to get a handle on the situation by not fueling her anger. Be calm and listen to what she has to say. Give her a great big hug. Respond appropriately, apologize accordingly.
Here’s your final chance to learn how to diffuse the situation with conversation chemistry